‘Twas the night before payday, when all ‘cross the lot
Not a creature was stirring, there weren’t no ups;
The cars were all cleaned on the showroom with care,
In hopes that some traffic soon would be there;
The crusty, sour peddlers were complaining ‘bout keeping their families fed,
While visions of small paychecks danced in their heads;
And Managers in their swivel-chairs, and F&I taking a nap,
Dreaming of a customer that would buy an E.S.C. and gap,
When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the desk to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore across the showroom and through the front door with a crash!
The cars on the lot were all covered with snow
Dozens of white lumps; how to tell them apart no one would know,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Sales Trainer and 8 recruits full of cheer.
The sharp recruits were prepared with much more than just word-tracts,
I knew in a moment it must be AutoMax.
More rapid than eagles his trainees they came,
The Trainer whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Green-pea! now, Newby! and all of the rest!
It’s showtime get selling this is your true test!
To the phones! to the lot and showroom floor!
Time to bring new-life to this car selling store!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So out to the lot the recruits they flew,
With snow-brooms and energy and good attitudes.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the phones
The prospecting calls gave such a wonderful tone.
As I lifted my head, and was turning around,
Out of the showroom the old crusty-sour peddlers did bound.
The bitter old sots griped about flooding the floor,
So they would take their bad habits and attitudes to another store;
The manager gave the crusty-guys a pat on the back,
And he was so happy he helped them pack.
His eyes — how they twinkled! his smile grew wide!
He looked at his new sales staff with pride!
His newly trained salespeople did not move slow,
As they took turns working the phone, the lot and moving the snow;
The bitter old car dawgs looked back gritting their teeth,
As the smoke of the last “dope-ring” circled and faded like a wreath;
The Trainer had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He said, “These are well trained sellers, void of bad habits.”
And I laughed as I watched them hop around with the energy of rabbits;
A wink of the Trainers eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but watched his trainees work and toil,
As they made appointments and greeted each client with a smile to earn their spoil.
And nodding his head the Trainer knew his work here was done,
More sales reps to train, it was time for him to run;
He sprang to his car, to his recruits gave a whistle,
And on with their tasks they went like guided missiles.
But I heard the AutoMax trainer exclaim as he drove out of sight,
“Good selling to all and to all a good night!”